It's Okay to Say No

For me, no is the one of the hardest words to say. Declining people is a personal weakness of mine. If someone were to ask me to join them in an after school club or activity, I'd accept their invitation without stopping to consider whether or not it was something I had an actual interest in. I'm a people pleaser. I feel like I have to say yes to everyone and everything. I don't like drama and I don't confrontation so I'll give the response I know people want to hear, sometimes sacrificing my own happiness in the process. I thought that saying yes was the only way to avoid disappointing my family and friends and for a long time, I was so focused on pleasing the people around me that I began to feel out of touch with what made me most happy.

Learning to decline someone's offer was tough. If it was my insecurities holding me back, it didn't seem like a legitimate excuse. I had to be genuinely unavailable and if I wasn't, then no other explanation mattered. What I've learnt is that saying no is a right and if something doesn't sit right with you then that's reason enough not to do it. Every time I used yes when I really wanted to say no, I was putting other people's feelings before my own and that's fine to do from time to time but if you're constantly committing yourself to things you don't feel okay about doing, you can begin to lose sense of what you really enjoy and are most passionate about.

I've definitely gotten better at saying no now that I know the people who truly care about me will respect whatever choice I make. If I had continued to take part in everything my friends and family members had asked of me, my life would have revolved around their interests and values instead of being shaped by the things I liked and believed in. Saying yes to things without taking yourself and your feelings into consideration leads to a very negative way of living. I had no idea how much control that simple, three letter word had over me. Knowing how to say no is an important life skill that most will be able to do with ease, however for those who struggle like me, just remember that your happiness and wellbeing matter so if you're not enjoying something, stop doing it. If you know you're not going to like something, don't sign up for it. It's okay to say no.